Well shoot. Wouldn't you know it, but I ordered 4 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies a month or two ago, and today they were delivered!! Now?? Not now, when I'm blogging and being gut-level honest about my quest to lose weight....
So I put them in my locker and posted on facebook about my love/hate relationship with those cookies... And I had tons of fb friends encourage me, and even so, I went and ate 4 cookies-- for a total of 280 calories... but okay, I've counted the calories and they'll go towards my 1800 for the day... (this was about 9am)
At 2pm I ate a very healthy lunch of 500 calories.... And then I decided to grab just 2 cookies. Somewhere, somehow, in between the many encouraging "don't eat em, Debbie" posts and texts I had gotten all day, somehow I managed to down oh gee-- maybe 12?? maybe 18? I lost count. Those Thin Mints go down really easily and fast, let me tell you.
I think today I have been again reminded that all the encouraging words in the world, and all the honest blogging in the world is no match for a very strong and powerful addiction. Smokers don't just smoke occasionally, they either do or don't..... When they quit, they quit entirely.... Same with alcoholics. And truly, I am absolutely addicted to sugar and chocolate.
Its ok. Its just that I have to be accountable and responsible for it, and not in denial.
Life is weird, you know. I can pass narcotic drugs all day for 22 years and I've never ONCE been tempted to steal a pain pill or a xanax, etc... Put me in charge of the pharmacy, and I'm cool. Leave a case of Budweiser in the fridge and I'll never touch the stuff in my entire life.
But, WHATEVER YOU DO, do not leave me in a locker room at work with Girl Scout cookies, because I cannot be trusted.
Now, I'm going to go to bed and hope to do better tomorrow. :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment