276.2
Well, I'm back. Never really left, but I did move from Kentucky to north Georgia. Can we chalk the weight gain up to the stress of moving? Sounds perfect to me.
It is with a good measure of humility that I post this embarrassing and even shaming weight gain. I mean honestly. I'm 2.2 lbs heavier than when I started out the first of March! I guess it goes to show you that truly, this isn't just a battle I've waged for 3 months, but a battle I've waged all my life. One I keep losing at.
Now that we are all settled here, I'm not sure that I like any of it. I miss my house in Kentucky. Much more than I thought I would. I miss our little life there. I was secure in my job, my boys had a nice routine, and I enjoyed my walks on the country gravel roads. I have traded horse and buggies in rural Kentucky for the crazy rush-hour traffic of downtown Chattanooga at 8am... ah yes, and at 4:30pm too. :-)
And I'm not 100% certain that I like my job. Still trying to get settled into it, and while I'm very thankful for the job, its surprising, if not bothersome to realize that I miss my patients. Even the crazy psycho ones. I mean-- they always provided fodder for my facebook posts... Now I never post about work, lol. So I don't know. We shall see what happens. Perhaps one day I'll be a glutton for punishment, and trade in my higher paying comfy desk job for the high paced, stressful, busy halls of a hospital once again.
My husband is very happy with all of us being back in the Chattanooga area. He is thrilled. So for his sake, we open a new chapter here. The boys are doing well, and so really, its all ok.
Now, back to the weight. Last Saturday, June 12, at the encouragement of my dear friend Jen, I started eating a mostly raw diet! Tons of fruits and fresh veggies, and green smoothies, and only 1 cup a day of grain, and no sugar or flour. With a desire to be vegan, but greatly lacking that kind of commitment, I am eating either beans, or lean protein such as tuna, or fat free cottage cheese. And so, we begin again, dear blog. Anyone out there with me?
Twice in the last 4 days, my guys had ice cream and I had pineapple/banana smoothies. I was so pleased with that.
Then today, I think the hormones came on board. Well, I think they've been here a few days, but anyways, I went and bought some Gelato. Not because I've ever had any, but because my friend Bunnie loves it, so I thought I'd try it. And so I consumed more fat grams in 10 minutes of chocolate gelato than I have in the last 4 days. But, somehow it helped me feel better for the moment, and once again gives me fuel for thought.
1. that it is downright impossible for me to not eat for comfort when I'm feeling sad.
2. that I need to stop taking life so seriously and enjoy it for what it is, today, in this moment.
3. That when I can be honest, and drain my brain on this silly blog, that I actually feel better. That the simple act of writing this out, for everyone or anyone or no-one to read, somehow instills hope in me. Hope to keep going. To try another day.
