Fear

The excitement of signing up for Ironman Chattanooga is beginning to die down, now that I have hired a coach. Now the primary emotion I feel is fear. Oh, and sleepiness. Is that an emotion? 

   I have a lot of endurance to build, and speed as well, because I'm not fast. Which leads to the weight loss I need to shed, which will to a great extent help my speed.

    Today is my 7th day in a row at work, so I know I'm just tired in general. I think I'll be ok. Just need some sleep. 

   Oh, and the scale. The stinking scale. I haven't been on the scale since September 7, and I am terrified to get on it. What if I haven't lost much weight? What if being sugar and flour free hasn't helped at all? How can an intelligent person have such a fear and anxiety over a little machine on the bathroom floor? Because for 46 years my self esteem has been tied to my weight, obviously.one day soon, I will get on the scale. Oh, I also start swim lessons this week. That's all I have for now.